Falling Apart

Last night I started feeling like everything around me was falling apart. Today is just a continuation of that feeling. My child #4 is really just trying my patience, which at this time in my life is a really bad thing to be doing.  Last night her dad and I had to ground her from her phone. She has had her phone for I think it's three weeks now and this is her second grounding. We got the phone primarily so that she could call and talk to her Dad whenever she wanted to, but for our social butterfly it has became a huge tool. 

This morning everyone was late getting up and out. There has been a sleeping problem and at times I think I know what the problem is but there is no way to fix it. #4 did not get up in time to be taken to school today so she is home. And again I feel like everything is falling apart around me.  There are those that will say because I'm not in church or that I've not got everything sorted out with God that this feeling is here. I am not going to say they are wrong - they are entitled to their opinions and what they need to depend upon. For me it's the fact that I'm recently separated and trying to raise four girls through the week on my own. I am trying to hold down a 40 hour a week job and not lose it because the girls need me to take of here and there. Not to mention the fact that there are so many signs that our jobs here are not secure (is there any secure jobs anymore? I am not sure).  Things just are always busy and I'm really trying.  

So now I sit here at work trying to figure out how I'm going to fix things at home - while I am trying to figure out what I'm doing here. What a vicious circle!!!